So I am extremely lucky to have a boyfriend who has accepted my single-mom life and more importantly my kiddo. BUT for those of you who have not successfully completed my first blog post (Ruled of Mingling) in order to find a worthy suitor, here are some rules for THEM! For those guys who think they can date single moms, we are a whole different breed and I think my man can attest to that!!! So here they are:
1. You are not #1
- Let's just say that this woman is a momma of one beautiful babe. That means you are #2. Twins? yeah..you're #3. Don't like this you selfish prick?? Then keep on trucking and find yourself an insecure whore. :)
2. We are broke!
- so I have heard that you are a high maintenance, selfish man who loves to be spoiled by your girl. Well, you have come to the wrong place buddy! So not all of us are showered with responsible dad's child support, so the little money that we work our asses off for is going for food and our lovely offspring! We will however, succeed in the art of homemade and home baked gifts :) Your choice.
3. We can't just come chill at your house when you get off work.
- So here we are, single and having to be the sole guardian of this tiny human who cannot fend for themselves. You really expect us to go to school all day, go to work, THEN bring our child over to your house so that they can destroy it and therefore embarrass us moms when your roommate stares at you like you are psycho for even considering dating someone with a heathen.
4. No matter how hard we try, there will always be drama
- so along with having children, there is another parent. Whether they are fighting to not see the kid(s) or they are fighting to see them, we are the only ones who have to deal with it. When we speak to the other parent WE DO NOT WANT THEM BACK! We are not with them for a very good reason. It is vital for the kid's happiness for us to have open communicaiton, and it is for my sanity that I can get pictures and phone calls when it is not my weekend. So, you will simple have to get over it.
5. Along with #3, we can't get up and go out when you feel like it.
- so there is only two ways that we can go out to the bar or even on a simple date and those are to either A.) plan weeks ahead so that we can beg around for a baby sitter, or B.) make sure it is planned weeks ahead on the every other weekend we don't have our babies. So we know what weekends we have to have every second specifically planned out so that there is not any down time or else we will break down crying because we miss our babies! So if you are not a planner, then BYE FELICIA!
6. We are probably more insecure than non-moms
- Not only did our bodies lose all muscle tone, but they got obliterated. Stretch marks and scars on our stomachs, thighs, butts, boobs! Our boobs are not going to look how we want them to because if we nursed our clones then they sucked the life out of us. Literally. So now we feel bad because we will never have those slim hips, flat, toned stomach, perky boobs that all non-moms have and then we have to deal with society's scrutiny all of the time. Try walking around, going to work, and seeing people's reactions to when we say that we have a child and then they immediately look down at our ring finger and see it naked. Let me tell yall, it's not very boosting in any way.
7. We are always tired.
- Okay I want you to take 18 hours of classes, work 35 hours a week, be at daycare by 6:00pm, make dinner, do laundry, chase the kid, try to find time to play with the kid before bedtime, trying to bathe them, then doing homework, bathing yourself, going to bed. Then wake up, do it all again and let somebody ask you to go out one night. Bet you $100 that you snap and yell at them! Especially after you tell them no because you are so tired... and they question that!? So..point being, don't date a single mom if you are a night owl.
- Let's just say that this woman is a momma of one beautiful babe. That means you are #2. Twins? yeah..you're #3. Don't like this you selfish prick?? Then keep on trucking and find yourself an insecure whore. :)
2. We are broke!
- so I have heard that you are a high maintenance, selfish man who loves to be spoiled by your girl. Well, you have come to the wrong place buddy! So not all of us are showered with responsible dad's child support, so the little money that we work our asses off for is going for food and our lovely offspring! We will however, succeed in the art of homemade and home baked gifts :) Your choice.
3. We can't just come chill at your house when you get off work.
- So here we are, single and having to be the sole guardian of this tiny human who cannot fend for themselves. You really expect us to go to school all day, go to work, THEN bring our child over to your house so that they can destroy it and therefore embarrass us moms when your roommate stares at you like you are psycho for even considering dating someone with a heathen.
4. No matter how hard we try, there will always be drama
- so along with having children, there is another parent. Whether they are fighting to not see the kid(s) or they are fighting to see them, we are the only ones who have to deal with it. When we speak to the other parent WE DO NOT WANT THEM BACK! We are not with them for a very good reason. It is vital for the kid's happiness for us to have open communicaiton, and it is for my sanity that I can get pictures and phone calls when it is not my weekend. So, you will simple have to get over it.
5. Along with #3, we can't get up and go out when you feel like it.
- so there is only two ways that we can go out to the bar or even on a simple date and those are to either A.) plan weeks ahead so that we can beg around for a baby sitter, or B.) make sure it is planned weeks ahead on the every other weekend we don't have our babies. So we know what weekends we have to have every second specifically planned out so that there is not any down time or else we will break down crying because we miss our babies! So if you are not a planner, then BYE FELICIA!
6. We are probably more insecure than non-moms
- Not only did our bodies lose all muscle tone, but they got obliterated. Stretch marks and scars on our stomachs, thighs, butts, boobs! Our boobs are not going to look how we want them to because if we nursed our clones then they sucked the life out of us. Literally. So now we feel bad because we will never have those slim hips, flat, toned stomach, perky boobs that all non-moms have and then we have to deal with society's scrutiny all of the time. Try walking around, going to work, and seeing people's reactions to when we say that we have a child and then they immediately look down at our ring finger and see it naked. Let me tell yall, it's not very boosting in any way.
7. We are always tired.
- Okay I want you to take 18 hours of classes, work 35 hours a week, be at daycare by 6:00pm, make dinner, do laundry, chase the kid, try to find time to play with the kid before bedtime, trying to bathe them, then doing homework, bathing yourself, going to bed. Then wake up, do it all again and let somebody ask you to go out one night. Bet you $100 that you snap and yell at them! Especially after you tell them no because you are so tired... and they question that!? So..point being, don't date a single mom if you are a night owl.